Invisible

Summer is finally here and so far it has been great. I have moved of my parents house and moved into an apartment with one of my best friends. It is very cute, i couldnt imagine myself in a better place then this with a great landlord.

But in the mean time of all of this i feel like i have been trailing off with some of my friends. I feel like some of them just dont care and some people just dont notice i exist anymore. The guy i like i dont feel like he even notices me let alone knows i really exist except for the times i go up and talk to him.

I cant say this about everyone because some do make an effort when i do but at the same time there are those who dont even when i try. I guess you find out who your true friends are.

Thats all for now i just havent blogged latley and that has been on my heart for a while. Now i must go to bed i have to go to work in the morning (kill me now).

End of Freshman year

This year is done and gone. What do i have left of it? only all the memories that i have created with all my friends and ones that are not so much my friends. I will forever remember and cherish each and everyone of them. I will never forget my great friends i have made, you guys are great and i love you all =). But we still have 3 years together (hopefully). I cant wait to make more memories with all of you guys.
I guess i also learned a lot. I actually like college. It takes motivation to get out of bed in the mornings but its fun. I would not trade it for anything (unless someone wants to pay my way for 3 more years =))

thats all i can think of for now

what am i supposed to be doing?

Have you ever had the feeling of you know that you want to do something so bad but there is something else in the back of your mind that you think you might want to be doing? Well thats the situation im in right now. I want to be a nurse so bad, but you cant even be considered for the program if you havent passed all your prereqs. I havent passed A&P and i didnt ever get put into sociology and i need those two classes to be even considered for nursing. Another thing is that you have to pass all the classes with a "c" or above and there are no second chances so if you dont pass them you are out of the program.
The other thing that is in the back of my mind is elementary education. I dont know why this was placed upon my heart but it was and i cant help but wonder maybe this is what God actually wants me to be doing instead of nursing.
I dont know what im supposed to and do, i have prayed about it i still dont know what to do. =(

weather

I pretty much love this warm weather.. I wish it could stay like this all year.

The sunshine makes me in such a good mood and i would MUCH rather be outside then inside. I could live with it in the 70s all year... (even though today is like 60) But still the sun is shining and there are some clouds in the sky but not to many to block the sun.

But we do live in Idaho so most likely it will be snowing or something of the sort tomorrow.

today

Lately i have been feeling really down on myself. Everyone around me seems so happy and in love. But i keep asking myself am i ever going to find my one?

Why cant God just bring him to me already? And if he has then why cant he just come up and talk to me and get on with it.

I realize im still young and have a full life ahead of me but still. I want to be the one everyone looks at with envy that i have found my better half. I want to be the one that is so happy and in love and know that he is my everything... my better half, my best friend, my one and only.

I dont know maybe i am a little jealous of people around me but i want it to. When will it happen?

Just a random thing that has been on my mind today.

This weak

hmmmm what to say,

Well we will start off by saying this week has been a really bad week. Even worse then what we college kids like to refer to as hell week (its the week of finals and all assignments are due that week)

(VERY SHORT VERSION) It started off by not really talking to my boyfriend. But i knew something was up when he didnt really talk to me. So we talked and he told me he needed to think about things. So i let him think and he decided that it would be best if we broke up. (which was just today that he decided this)

At first I didn't understand why all of this was going on. I was so happy then all the sudden it was like the world just came crashing down on me. I had so many emotions running through me that i didnt even know what to think or do. I wanted to sit in a corner and cry. But i knew that it wouldn't help anything. (this was after like a day a crying).

I prayed about it and gave it to the Lord and let him take the burden off of my shoulders. I know that there were many people praying for me to because i dont know how i could have done all of this without the help of the Lord. AND all of my amazing friends who talked to me about it and was there for me this week..

There was one friend who i can not thank enough, i don't know if she knows this or not but she helped me see his side of this whole thing to and not just mine. She understood where i was coming from but she also told me to think about how he is feeling to and to think about why he was doing it. He needed to think without any distractions.
At first i didn't want to think about it. I just wanted to have my own pity party, but then i did think about it and it helped me a lot.

I just want to thank all my friends and mom who were there for me through all the complaining and crying and everything else. I don't know how i could have made it thorough this week without all of you. I would have literally gone crazy. And also thank you all so much for praying for me.

The verse that i have lived by this week is:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Even though we may not understand what is going on in our own lives God does and he is the only one who knows what the future holds for us. And i just have to trust in him that he will eventually show me what that is. He has it planned out and somewhere in there is my prince charming =)

decision made

So i have decided that im going to stay at NNU if i can.... YAY!!! they have the better nursing program, nicer people, and i simply LOVE it here.

I figured i should probably inform everyone since you may have been wondering what my decisions will be.

Now for the hard part. FINANCIAL AID!!!! haha God will find a way if he wants me here. =D